nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
