David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
