I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
