No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
