If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
