Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
