Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
