I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
