Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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