peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's rum buckets o'clock
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
