i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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