dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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