You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
