i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
