How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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