my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
