Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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