it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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