Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
