You made me cry and you don't even care
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
wow bdsm is so cute
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