I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
how does that bad decision feel?
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