I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.