Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.