We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
high people should be assigned attendants
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.