im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
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There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
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I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant