I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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