3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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