Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize