What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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