What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
