the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
