So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
