You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
