Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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