did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
