Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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