What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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