Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
