You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
