You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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