Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
