He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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