If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
