i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
