I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
