just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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