Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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