90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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