So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
