Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
