went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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