Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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