Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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