oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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