I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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