Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
the raccoons are back...
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