used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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