So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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