Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
