Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize