some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
