I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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