she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
