North Korea, Best Korea!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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