Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
