WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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The chlamydia really affected his face.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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