Don't you send me to vm
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
