Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
