Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
