Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize