you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Let's get the cat blown out
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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