Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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